on a more morbid note...

for those who do not err... 'enjoy' 'morbid-city' please skip and go on to the rest of the blogs... anyway... i was thinking about death today... humans have always been fascinated and yet repulsed by death... presently, one of the biggest event in someone's life is a funeral... given that the fact we celebrate birth every year.. guess... one big celebration of death is in order.. after all.. u only get to die once.. hee...

well.. i have always been fascinated by death.. my first encounter was perhaps the death of my dog, den the death of my grandmother... those... i was too young to comprehend death but at the age of 11... i came to the realization that 'oh no... i will die oneday'... i remembered vividly bout that day i cried in front of my mom becos of death... i was scared of it... my mom was cooking that day and i went to ask her if everyone will die.. she said yes.. and i started to cry... ( well.. that's the short version.. haa...)

the topic of death remained in my mind like for the longest time, more den any other topics i supposed.. even up to now.. i do think about death... well... i am not scared of death now ^^ ( think it comes with the fact that I am a Christian so death is just a waypoint to me.. death will just mean 'hello Jesus! ^^) while i am not so concerned bout my own death.. i am concerned and afraid of the people around me dying.. book, movies, dramas.. whenever there is a death involved... i somehow transport myself into settings, and 'participate' in the atmosphere of feeling utterly sad and shattered... well.. i do this with like topics of love, birth and everything too i supposed... but in any case.. i noe that i am very afraid of people around me dying, even as i 'participate' in the feelings of bereavement in stories and such... i noe that death to someone close to me will shock me utterly... i can just picture myself in one now.... hmm... perhaps.. this is also one of the motivation for me to let people noe about Jesus.... oh well...

while i am scared bout people around me dying.. i am curious bout what my own death means to people.. (feel free to leave a note in a comment! hee..)... will people cry? what will they remember me as? will i even be remembered and stuff.. haa.. oh well... guess i am being too self-centred..^^ while i think about such stuff... on the other hand.. it doesnt really matter to me.. haaa... cos... i wont know it till i die.. and errr.. when i die.. i still wont know it... bleh....

which finally brings me to the topic i was thinking about while bathing today... rites and rituals... i think rites and rituals are important.. especially so in the 'celebration' of death... i use the word celebrate here cos in the christian sense, u are going to be with the Father, while on the other hand, people do sort of celebrate death with the type of pompous ceremonies... yet as i was saying.. rites allow us to focus our thoughts and feelings on the death of the person... the death will be a big blow to the one surrounding... but rites makes sure that the person move on, at least for the next few days of death.. as one is busy preparing for the funeral rites, one tend to put his emotions away (yet the inner self is still continously bereaving for the death)... we den focus on what we have to do and such... the funeral will also have it's own timing to allow individuals to release their innermost emotions and such... yet do it in a controlled manner which i think, keeps us sane and not be so consumed by our own emotions... after the whole funeral ritual... the sense of bereavement will hit us once more, but at the same time, the rituals which took so much of our time and energy, has also allowed our sorrows to flow out bit by bit... thus at the end of the ritual, the sorrow we have, i feel, is a more 'matured' and 'disciplined' one.. well... there will be times where we still lose our discipline and get totally consumed but for most of us...funeral rituals and rites will have the desired effects on us....

okok.. enuf of this morbidness... go enjoy the rest of your day.. hee..ohoh.. and remember! always show the people u treasure u treasure them before it's too late... love your family and friends and show them that u really do love them! hee..^^ with the rememberance of death, i suppse one will tend to learn to celebrate life.. ^^