i love reading and hate reading....

i love reading and hate it at the same time... i love it for the possibility of transporting me to other worlds, to other lives and hate it for transporting me to those other worlds and life... for this same reason.. i love and hate good books at the same time.... maybe... that's the reason why i love fantasy... cos while i am being transported there, i somehow noe that it is not that real and the emotional aspects of the the characters are somehow more muted to me.. i think.. however, once i start reading books which are more 'real'... the emotions of the characters will hit me smack in the face... oh well.... still.... i would continue to read i supposed....

i am currently reading this book Naoko, by this Japanese author... well... it is in English.... haa... anyway... it's a rather peculiar story i supposed... at least... i had never read a story with such a story line.... basically.... Heisuke, a husband lost his wife, Naoko, and 6th grade daughter, Monami, in a ski bus accident.... Naoko died while protecting Monami but for some obscure reason... Monami started acting as if she is Naoko, even to the extent of knowing things Naoko, her mother, knows... welll.... this type of story i supposed is so emotionally charged... oh welll.. stupid me for reading such a book? hee...

i was in the train when i was reading this scene... basically, the wife of the driver who is involved in the accident came into a meeting with the victims to apologised to them... she herself has lost her husband but at the same time, becos her husband is seen as the cause of the accident, is obviously not taken as part of the victims... as much as one might think why in the world did she do tat... we have to note that perhaps there is the cultural context of the story which is in Japan... the sincerity of the wife is genuine.. she really felt guilty that her dead husband is the cause of the accident... i dun think she went there so much as to seek sympathy but more of a heartfelt apology... but at the same time, the victims were of course unable to see her hurts.... one even shout back that her husband is the murderer... but... her husband is dead, there is really nothing anyone can do about it... dunno lar.. basically... messy issue...

well.. i read this scene and had to stop reading... cos i really felt like tearing... i was being transported into the book.. however... i was still more of a bystander lookin at things from both sides... and for this reason.. felt the pains of both sides... oh well.... guess i am weak in that area... m(_ _)m